Never, ever travel without your sense of humor

Sense of humor.  It’s an absolute must-have item on any trip.  Forget to bring your ability to laugh and you may as well skip the trip entirely.  We can’t take everything quite so seriously, right?  Get a head start by enjoying the quotes below.


“Airplane food is the smallest food I’ve ever seen in my entire life.  Any kind of meat that you get -chicken, steak, anything – has grill marks on each side, like somehow we’ll actually believe there’s an open-flame grill in the front of the plane.” – Ellen Degeneres

“I love it when the flight attendant says, ‘Your seat cushion becomes a flotation device.’ Well why doesn’t the plane just become a boat?” – Steve Shaffer

“Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.” – Jerry Seinfeld


“You define a good flight by negatives: you didn’t get hijacked, you didn’t crash, you didn’t throw up, you weren’t late, you weren’t nauseated by the food. So you are grateful.” – Paul Theroux

“I suspect that LaGuardia is an elaborate prank, and New York has a real airport nearby that only locals know about.” – Dave Barry  (sorry my NYC friends, but this feels true)

“Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?” – Erma Bombeck

“Cars will soon have the Internet on the dashboard. I worry that this will distract me from my texting.” – Andy Borowitz

“Airplane travel is nature’s way of making you look like your passport photo.” – Al Gore

“What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?” – George Carlin


“Thanks to the USA’s Interstate Highway System, it is now possible to travel across the country from coast to coast without seeing anything.” – Charles Kuralt

“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.” – bumper sticker

“Two great talkers will not travel far together.” – Spanish proverb

“It’s easier to find a travelling companion than to get rid of one.” – Art Buchwald

“A lot of people ask me if I were shipwrecked, and could have only one book, what would it be? I always say, ‘How to Build a Boat’.” – Steven Wright


“Never relinquish clothing to a hotel valet without first specifically telling him that you want it back.” – Fran Lebowitz

“The best time to go to Disney World, if you want to avoid huge crowds, is 1962.” – Dave Barry

“What is the story with the airport sinks, that they will not give us a twist-on twist-off human faucet. Is it that too risky for the human population?  We have to do the one-handed pain-in-the-ass Alcatraz-style faucets.  What is it they think we will do?  Turn ’em all on full, run out into the parking lot, laughing, pushing each other into the bushes?” – Jerry Seinfeld

“English, who needs that? I’m never going to England” – Homer Simpson

Keep laughing and traveling!






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